As Father’s Day approaches, I have been reflecting on the many lessons we carry with us from fathers, grandfathers, mentors, teachers, coaches, and leaders who helped shape our lives. The most meaningful lessons are not always the loudest ones, although some dads certainly believed volume improved effectiveness. Instead, they are often the simple truths demonstrated consistently through words, actions, character, and occasionally a well-timed “because I said so.”
During an AME learning session, “Insights from a Healthcare Executive’s Lean Journey,” led by Walt Dannenberg of the VA Long Beach Healthcare System, one statement especially stayed with me: “To be unclear is unkind. To be clear is kind.” What a powerful reminder for all of us as leaders and as people.
So many of us learned this lesson from the father figures in our lives. The best leaders and parents understand that clarity is not unkind. Clarity is respect. It is taking the time to communicate honestly, set expectations thoughtfully, listen carefully, and guide others in a way that helps them grow and succeed. And let’s be honest, most fathers mastered concise communication long before Lean principles existed.
In Lean, we often talk about respect for people, servant leadership, and continuous improvement. Walt’s message reinforced that leadership is ultimately about creating trust. People thrive when they understand the mission, know what matters, and feel supported in achieving it. Unclear expectations create confusion and frustration; clarity creates confidence, accountability, and care. And if you can do all this visually, even better.
That lesson extends far beyond the workplace. Many fathers and mentors teach through steady guidance, consistency, and honesty. They remind us that kindness is not avoiding difficult conversations. It is having them with compassion, integrity, and respect. Sometimes that wisdom came through long conversations, and sometimes through a single look that required absolutely no further clarification.
Father’s Day can mean many things to many people. For some, it is a joyful celebration. For others, it is a time of remembrance, gratitude, or reflection. This weekend, I hope we all take a moment to appreciate those who helped guide us, challenged us to improve, and demonstrated leadership through service and care for others. Thanks so much to my dad, Ray Humphrey. I laugh at the card I sent him this week. “Dad, without you, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. You have no one to blame but yourself”.
I wish all the fathers in our AME community a very happy Father’s Day!
As always, please stay safe and keep looking out for one another.
